Things didn’t go as you have planned it? Well, it’s not the end of the world and it’s high time that you need to move on and rise from failure. How do you get started? Well you can start with these 3 basic steps we’ve learned from Psychology Today. When you start with these fundamental steps, you will be able to accept failure faster and speed up your growth process. As they say – it’s not how hard you fall but how you stand up from that fall.
Failure and disappointment are an inevitable part of life, yet difficult and challenging to deal with. We all face those moments in life when we don’t achieve our goals despite our best efforts. We may not find our dream job or soulmate. It may be too late to have more kids or the cool house with ocean view may be out of reach. Relationships may break up despite our best efforts to save them, friends or lovers may betray us, we may not get the promotion we worked so hard for, or our children may not be as motivated as we would like them to be. What do you do when life knocks you down and the happiness and success you dream of seems out of reach?
(1) Face the truth of the situation
Denying the reality of a bad situation or avoiding thinking about it at all makes it worse or keeps you stuck when you could be working on solving the problem. Awareness is the first step to change. Be willing to face what is. Of course, you shouldn’t be dwelling on the problem 24 hours a day either. This will just make you feel worse. Think about it enough to understand what you feel and the best way to respond, then focus on something more positive. Research suggests that avoiding thinking about or dealing with problems actually creates more life stressors, a phenomenon known as “stress generation”. If you don’t open the envelopes with your bills, you will end up getting calls from collections agencies.
(2) Allow yourself to mourn your lost dreams
The gap between how you wanted things to turn out and how they actually did can lead to sadness and regret. Mourning is a step towards letting go. Take time to connect with your feelings in a compassionate way. Writing down your feelings or talking to a trusted friend can help. A study (link is external)showed that when subjects wrote down their deepest thoughts and feelings about recent breakups, they recovered more quickly and had better physical health in subsequent months. In another study, executives and engineers who deliberately confronted feelings about job loss felt more control over their situation and had a much higher rate of re-employment in the following months.
(3) Don’t get stuck feeling like a victim
Whatever your situation, you always have choices and skills to deal with it. Think about other situations that you coped with successfully and how you might apply the same skills to this situation. If you’re being mistreated, speak up or walk away. If you can’t walk away right now, work on becoming more independent or finding other opportunities.
If you want more tips to moving on from failure, check out the complete article on Psychology Today.
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